Driving me mad

Remember. Mirror, signal, manoeuvre. Watch your speed this is a thirty limit. Now slow down we're approaching a hazard, check your mirror and indicate to move round it if it's safe to do so.
We've all done some kind of driver training and passed or are going to try and pass a test.
But they test you in the day time before all the Changlings and Werewolves get behind the wheel.

Late at night it's different.
That's the steering wheel, that'll take you left and right and round any ignorant git who's ignoring your horn and flashing lights. Pedals, the one on the right makes it go quicker, just regard it as an on off switch, floor it or leave it alone. The one in the middles a brake you'll only really need that at the end of a journey, not a good idea to ram your mates gate when you arrive. The left one? Thats for changing gear I know it says you've got five but fifths only for wimps who can't afford the petrol unless your pushing for that bit over three figures down the high street. You can get by on just second and fourth if you can't be arsed changing.
Stalks? the one on the right is for flashing your lights at any dozy sod that drops below sixty, the one on the left is the indicators but you wont need them, you'll be up their arse and past them before they know it and the only thing that'll keep up with you will be the cops and you don't want to tell them where your going do you.
Test? Licence? Nah, don't bother, they've got to catch you to ask for it.

You may have realised that the Blog title is a line from Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri and it's so true. Once your into the early hours the roads are largely given over to Cabs, Cops and Criminals. Traffic control seems limited to speed cameras and we all know where they are so everyone slams on and halves their speed for a hundred yards or so before tearing off again. Regular alerts over the cab radio as to where the bold boys in blue are hiding that night and it usually shows a lack of imagination as they're creatures of habit.
Priorities seem completely skewed as well but I suppose pulling someone for turning right in a bus only lane on an empty road at 2 am when all the buses are tucked up in their garages is an easy nick and goes on the crime figures. Whereas doing something about the roaming groups of hoodies who delight in heaving bricks at any passing vehicle (every night in at least a couple of locations) or blocking the side roads to try and rob whoever is dumb enough to stop may take a bit more thought and paperwork but we'll save the subject of feral yoof for another blog post.
Meanwhile if you see a cab exceeding the speed limit late at night but still being passed by everything short of a milk float it may well be me.