Very often in the course of my job I'm going on routes and journeys that I know as well as the way round my own house, no concious thought required. So if a punter is the silent type the Billy Liar in me kicks off and any homework from my writing class gets done or one of several other projects gets thought about and developed, just not written down.
Often though, with my mind essentially out of gear, the curse sets in.
As a photographer all my life, pro, semi pro and currently resting, I tend to view life as a collection of still images. Stationary at lights I'll be unconciously moving my eyeline slightly so that the traffic light isn't in line with the lamppost, or the wing mirrors of the cars in front form a nice visual stack with a reflection repeated in each. Noticing that I'm just about at the right position to get a long shot of a building via the reflection in some office windows. I've even found myself rolling the car forward slightly to achieve the desired effect.
Driving past derelict buildings I'll wonder if I could get a shot of that broken window with a pigeon or two sitting in the right place. I have a thing about derelict buildings. Don't ask.
The curse doesn't stop there though, my own peculiar form of dyslexia kicks in and words have different meanings. A 'Baby on Board' sticker in the car in front and I'll be wondering why they've got a San Fransciscan honey making insect in the car. 'Exit'? I'll be waiting for the hen to move so I can watch it hatch.
'School'. No it's not, s'never been cool.
It's endless.
I've managed to make the visual curse pay in the past but it remains to be seen if I can do the same playing with words.
A piece of writing accepted by a publisher or having my collar felt because "That daft bugger over there keeps dodging his head about and staring straight through me".
Could be a close run thing.
Tuesday 25 May 2010
Wednesday 12 May 2010
A New Hope
Sorry I can't resist one more polly tickle post.
We have a Conservative Prime Minister ruling a Conservative government. Er? no we don't we have a Conservative government with the Lib Dems holding the choke chain in case it attacks the weak and defenceless. No we don't, what do we have? The humourists amongst us wil have spotted that what we have is a ConDem government, let's hope they don't live up to the name.
I think we can ignore the opening speech from Digital Dave. Opening speeches have little relevance to what comes after. Thatcher quoting Saint Francis of Assissi, given the following years of her rule, now seems almost obscene.
Cleggie's Deputy Prime Minister and I'm sure he feels well chuffed at the prospect but I'd suggest just a backward glance to the fat fool who held the title before him and then realise that sticking a ticket on something stating 'organic manure in an ethically produced container' on something doesn't change the fact that its still a sack of shit. Deputy Prime Minister is nothing more than a lable. Whether there's a useful quality product behind that lable or a remaindered, end of line, please take it off our hands remains to be seen.
We've had the officially required admiring speeches about Dear Prudence who now shuffles of, nearly tearful, into political retirement to a chorus of cooing admiration but he can't fail to have heard the popping of champagne corks and raucous cheering before he was even out of sight.
Someone else is now out of power, though I'm sure he's been working on a way back in even before we knew he was out. Mandlebrot, no matter how many layers you peel away you still end up with the same oily git. The bastard love child of Vader and Voldemort, with none of the redeeming features of either, will have been brown nosing anyone, with even a hint of influence, who has been foolish enough to drop the soap whilst he's in the same building. I'd suggest Cameron tries to find a position in his cabinet for Luke and young Harry as the evil one will find a way back in where one doesn't even exist.
Dave's got what he wants and Nick's got influence beyond his wildest dreams and even Labour have got what they want, given the election result. Large numbers of them ran round from pillar to post telling any Tory who would listen "Don't worry we wont be backing any deals"
The Lib Dems couldn't afford another election financially, Labour couldn't afford one politically and the Conservatives are in anyway. If they can make it work until the vote for fixed parliaments goes through and keep it together until Labour feel strong enough to start the "Come and have a go if you think your hard enough" we may just see a permanent change in a corrupt and out dated political system.
We just need a wedding planner now to shuffle the seating plan in the Commons so prissy, abstemious aunt Maude has to sit next to uncle Fred the alcy gambling addict for a bit less 'Yah Boo' in the house.
They'll probably screw it up but at least let's enjoy a few days of hope.
We have a Conservative Prime Minister ruling a Conservative government. Er? no we don't we have a Conservative government with the Lib Dems holding the choke chain in case it attacks the weak and defenceless. No we don't, what do we have? The humourists amongst us wil have spotted that what we have is a ConDem government, let's hope they don't live up to the name.
I think we can ignore the opening speech from Digital Dave. Opening speeches have little relevance to what comes after. Thatcher quoting Saint Francis of Assissi, given the following years of her rule, now seems almost obscene.
Cleggie's Deputy Prime Minister and I'm sure he feels well chuffed at the prospect but I'd suggest just a backward glance to the fat fool who held the title before him and then realise that sticking a ticket on something stating 'organic manure in an ethically produced container' on something doesn't change the fact that its still a sack of shit. Deputy Prime Minister is nothing more than a lable. Whether there's a useful quality product behind that lable or a remaindered, end of line, please take it off our hands remains to be seen.
We've had the officially required admiring speeches about Dear Prudence who now shuffles of, nearly tearful, into political retirement to a chorus of cooing admiration but he can't fail to have heard the popping of champagne corks and raucous cheering before he was even out of sight.
Someone else is now out of power, though I'm sure he's been working on a way back in even before we knew he was out. Mandlebrot, no matter how many layers you peel away you still end up with the same oily git. The bastard love child of Vader and Voldemort, with none of the redeeming features of either, will have been brown nosing anyone, with even a hint of influence, who has been foolish enough to drop the soap whilst he's in the same building. I'd suggest Cameron tries to find a position in his cabinet for Luke and young Harry as the evil one will find a way back in where one doesn't even exist.
Dave's got what he wants and Nick's got influence beyond his wildest dreams and even Labour have got what they want, given the election result. Large numbers of them ran round from pillar to post telling any Tory who would listen "Don't worry we wont be backing any deals"
The Lib Dems couldn't afford another election financially, Labour couldn't afford one politically and the Conservatives are in anyway. If they can make it work until the vote for fixed parliaments goes through and keep it together until Labour feel strong enough to start the "Come and have a go if you think your hard enough" we may just see a permanent change in a corrupt and out dated political system.
We just need a wedding planner now to shuffle the seating plan in the Commons so prissy, abstemious aunt Maude has to sit next to uncle Fred the alcy gambling addict for a bit less 'Yah Boo' in the house.
They'll probably screw it up but at least let's enjoy a few days of hope.
Friday 7 May 2010
Here we see the species at it's most active. The herd shuffles nervously while the dominant animals try and assemble the maximum number of breeding opportunities.
Ultimately some of the Alphas will go head to head in a bloody competition in which the loser will either die or spend the rest of its life as a spent force unable to gain any support unless with the accession of the winner.
Those new to the habitat can be seen running around like excited new borns gently bumping, nuzzling and arse sniffing any creature that already has the scent of the herd well established in a desperate attempt for acceptance.
Whilst this activity looks frenetic it pales into comparison when we look at the flocks of chatterers picking and cleaning at every creature available with no regard to their rank in the herd. Such is their desperation that when there is no place visible on any animal close to them they even turn their attention to other species merely watching the activity and even their droppings.
As this political rutting season proceeds and the pecking order is established we can expect each individual in turn to be seen bowing it's head and lowing constantly in satisfaction as the chatterers can now carry out their work on a less mobile subject.
Then ultimately the whole extrordinary display is over and silence descends once more.
Apart from the gentle clicking of closing doors and the muttered enquiry "Where do you keep the expense claims forms".
Ultimately some of the Alphas will go head to head in a bloody competition in which the loser will either die or spend the rest of its life as a spent force unable to gain any support unless with the accession of the winner.
Those new to the habitat can be seen running around like excited new borns gently bumping, nuzzling and arse sniffing any creature that already has the scent of the herd well established in a desperate attempt for acceptance.
Whilst this activity looks frenetic it pales into comparison when we look at the flocks of chatterers picking and cleaning at every creature available with no regard to their rank in the herd. Such is their desperation that when there is no place visible on any animal close to them they even turn their attention to other species merely watching the activity and even their droppings.
As this political rutting season proceeds and the pecking order is established we can expect each individual in turn to be seen bowing it's head and lowing constantly in satisfaction as the chatterers can now carry out their work on a less mobile subject.
Then ultimately the whole extrordinary display is over and silence descends once more.
Apart from the gentle clicking of closing doors and the muttered enquiry "Where do you keep the expense claims forms".
Saturday 1 May 2010
The Importance of Being Earnest
Three debates done and dusted so who's going to be President, sorry Prime Minister.
All three of them looking directly into the camera imploring a sceptical public to pleeease believe them, they really are telling the truth this time.
He didn't do particularly well in the first leg but we seem to have had the second Caming and Digital Dave looks to be in front having largely ignored Dear Prudence during the whole third leg.
Gordon really is a marvel of physical dexterity. How one man can manage to shoot himself in both feet while having them wedged in his mouth is quite astonishing, he may actually pick up a few sympathy votes as he takes on, more and more, the look of an old dog that's finally had a kicking and been thrown out for crapping on the carpet.
Cleggie continues to win the charm offensive and prances about on any broadcast media available fluttering his eyelashes at the other two with an inviting "Well I might" dangling the mouth watering possibilities of sharing a red box or two. Gordon is positively gagging at the prospect as no one else will even look at him and is still trying to pull Clegg but Cleggie keeps pushing him off though it may end up that he's the only date not taken for the prom.
Dave is playing hard to get and says he wont share power at all, it's his ball and he's going home. So we can write that school report already......
Doesn't play well with others
...and so it goes on, all three of them dancing around telling us via the drooling hacks whatever they think will get them the most votes. Of course it has to be the truth but we are talking political truth here.
"Whatever I tell you three times is true"
They, collectively, are the Bellman and Mr and Mrs Voter are the mythical Snark.
Listen out for the phrases like, we have no plans to, we fully intend, it's a problem that needs addressing etc etc and then realise how many lobby correspondents and political hacks there are in relation to the number of MP's. All there to expain what they actually mean when they're truthfully lying through their teeth.
They will continue to be all over us like a cheap suit until 10pm on the 6th then, when all the votes are counted and we can have no further effect on the next 5 years, we will be chucked out of the window to be swept away with the Maccy's boxes, squashed kebabs and alcopop bottles.
Then we can all go back to what we usually do which is to survive by going round, through or under the obstacles they place in our way.
All three of them looking directly into the camera imploring a sceptical public to pleeease believe them, they really are telling the truth this time.
He didn't do particularly well in the first leg but we seem to have had the second Caming and Digital Dave looks to be in front having largely ignored Dear Prudence during the whole third leg.
Gordon really is a marvel of physical dexterity. How one man can manage to shoot himself in both feet while having them wedged in his mouth is quite astonishing, he may actually pick up a few sympathy votes as he takes on, more and more, the look of an old dog that's finally had a kicking and been thrown out for crapping on the carpet.
Cleggie continues to win the charm offensive and prances about on any broadcast media available fluttering his eyelashes at the other two with an inviting "Well I might" dangling the mouth watering possibilities of sharing a red box or two. Gordon is positively gagging at the prospect as no one else will even look at him and is still trying to pull Clegg but Cleggie keeps pushing him off though it may end up that he's the only date not taken for the prom.
Dave is playing hard to get and says he wont share power at all, it's his ball and he's going home. So we can write that school report already......
Doesn't play well with others
...and so it goes on, all three of them dancing around telling us via the drooling hacks whatever they think will get them the most votes. Of course it has to be the truth but we are talking political truth here.
"Whatever I tell you three times is true"
They, collectively, are the Bellman and Mr and Mrs Voter are the mythical Snark.
Listen out for the phrases like, we have no plans to, we fully intend, it's a problem that needs addressing etc etc and then realise how many lobby correspondents and political hacks there are in relation to the number of MP's. All there to expain what they actually mean when they're truthfully lying through their teeth.
They will continue to be all over us like a cheap suit until 10pm on the 6th then, when all the votes are counted and we can have no further effect on the next 5 years, we will be chucked out of the window to be swept away with the Maccy's boxes, squashed kebabs and alcopop bottles.
Then we can all go back to what we usually do which is to survive by going round, through or under the obstacles they place in our way.
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