Totally burgered

Four plus weeks of little else but work, eat and sleep is not something to be recommended but as it ends with two weeks hoilday I'll try and push it to the back of my mind.
So here we are in the home of the Mouse, where every day should be had nicely and the streets are paved with cholesterol.
Don't think I'm joking. Scotland may have invented the deep fried Mars Bar but America invented the deep fried bit. You're in danger of being run down in any of the theme parks by any number of mobility scooters all carrying someone for no other reason than that they have a waist expansion problem / are corpulently challenged / have an eating disorder. Sorry let's stop being PC for a minute, they're fat and it would take two pounds of Semtex, or at the very least a crowbar to get the fork out of their hand.
Don't for one minute think I'm laying this on too thick I checked the map just yesterday whilst in Magic Kingdom and looking for a rest room. I wondered what the red symbols were, dotted all round the map, Automated External Defibrillators. Human jump starts dotted all over the place and you have to wonder in this litigious society what you'd stand most chance of being sued for, using one and the person dying .
"Sir you willfully killed this person by the application of a completely unecessary massive electric shock"
Or not using one.
"Sir you had the means to save this poor unfortunate by the simple application of a minor electric shock from the equipment already consideratly provided by Walt Disney World"
If I see one of them so much as sigh too deeply I'm running.

Land of the free and home of the brave but the only thing free is the coffee refills and all the braves were banged up on reservations years ago. Just a few being let out every so often when John Wayne or any other of Hollywoods firm jawed and rugged finest needed to shoot a few more and save the ranchers wife, town or state (all three in some cases). Quite how they managed to find the time whilst winning WW2 all on their own I'll never know.

If I'm sounding too bitter about the place I'm not. In oh so many ways they make the UK look like a bunch of cheap skate amateurs. Yes the staff in the parks and restaurants may seem OTT to our reserved eyes but they're smiling and even if they're acting at being "happy to be your server tonight" they're doing a bloody good job of it.

Come on, get up, there's no time for a lie in we've got to have fun. If we rush over to Space Mountain now we'll have time to fit in the Buzz Lightyear ride before the Disney Parade then we can fit in the two shows in the afternoon and get back for the firework display later tonight.
"Oh my god he's having a heart attack, please someone show me how to use this defibrillator"
"Okay Maam, d'you want fries with that"