The leaders debased

I listened to the leaders debate on the radio this evening and I waited for it to take off, and I waited, and then I waited some more.
Ninety minutes of listening to what sounded, and may well have looked, like three products of Jim Hensons creature shop. I could hear in every breath and syllable the workings and coachings of a multitude of advisors and spin doctors, much as every muscle twitch and eye movement of Jim Hensons creatures are controlled by an unseen operator.

The lack of any audience response being allowed made the squeaking of buzz words and phrases being shoe horned in almost deafening. If you've told me your constituency is Sheffield I've got that I don't need it repeating every time you refer to it. "Bring in the personal anecdotes it'll make you seem human" No it didn't, you could hear the beginning and end of every learnt paragraph.
I know soldiers are brave you do not need to constantly preface 'soldier' with brave every single sodding time it's mentioned. As for the Mr Memory act of listing every questioners name, was anyone else half listening for Eric Morecambe coughing "Arsenal"
Gordon Browns pursuit of Nick Clegg like an oversexed student on Freshers night determined to get laid was frankly embarrasing, apparently to Nick Clegg as well.

Gentlemen if you want my vote assemble all your voice coaches, body language experts, sociologists, sephologists and any other ologists lurking under a desk or behind a curtain and in the immortal words of Norman Stanley Fletcher tell them all to Naff Off.
Because all three of you had what I believe Golfers call the Yips, you were so bloody scared of getting it wrong you never even hit the ball.

For the next one can we please have a debate and not another well rehearsed and choreographed Political Come Dancing.